Early reflections on my MS diagnosis

While I was backpacking in Banff National Park in August 2024, I experienced decreased vision in my left eye. With each passing day, it was as if another layer of grey tissue paper was placed in that eye’s field of view. At its worst, I could only see outlines of people/objects and detect movement. I could not tell you any details of your face if you were sitting in front of me and my right eye was closed. Yet, I was not THAT worried. I had experienced something similar in the past in both eyes and it was a simple allergic reaction to something in the outside environment. 

Fast forward to January 2025 and I meet the new diagnostic criteria for Multiple Sclerosis (MS). 

MS, a lifelong condition, is unpredictable for every patient, and I do not know what is in store for me. There is no cure. My Clinically Isolated Syndrome (CIS) MS is the “best” MS prize to win. My optic neuritis symptom was mostly resolved with a course of IV and oral steroids, and I have no other symptoms. 

Some have called my MS diagnosis life altering. I do not resonate with that. To me, life altering means life-limiting, interferes with my day-to-day, shortened life expectancy, or permanent disability. 

Instead I prefer life impacting. My life is impacted by living with this autoimmune disease. The prognosis I was given is exceptionally positive. It is very possible that I will not have another attack, and with the aid of immunosuppressant medication, regular monitoring of blood work and MRIs, I will have a near-normal life and live the next 40 years I am supposed to. 

Factors that can contribute to MS are low Vitamin D, genetics, and environmental factors. MS is particularly prevalent in northern populations and disproportionally affects women. I was directed to continue with my active lifestyle, mostly good diet, reduce alcohol intake, choose DMT (disease modifying therapies) medication, and add some supplements. 

I am committed to being a good patient, taking care of myself, and leaning on the network of health care professionals and peers that are in my corner. Since being diagnosed, I have accessed individual counselling and an online peer-support group for other newly diagnosed Canadians living with MS. Day to day, I’m doing really well, and aside from twice daily medication, I mostly forget I live with MS. 

How can you help and support me? 

• Be physically active with me! 

• Accept NO when I decline alcohol. 

• It’s OK to ask about my diagnosis. Sharing my experience helps me work through what and how I’m feeling. 

• Educate yourself on this disease that 90,000 Canadians live with. 

• Be an advocate - accompany me to blood work, diagnostic imaging, and neurologist appointments. I thought I was tough shit and didn’t need an appointment buddy at my initial intake. THEN my badass neurologist wanted to put a needle in my spine, and I was glad AF that my cherished cousin Robyn was there to hold my hand and rub my shoulders. 

• Keep your “just a little bit sick” kids THE FUCK away from me. Their germy presence threatens to send my immune system into overdrive and erroneously attack my BRAIN. And I don't like kids to begin with.

2020 was an absolute circus, but I thrived with a lot of help from my friends

 

As I look forward to the New Year of 2021, I need to reflect on what will soon be the Old Year (and thank F, aimiright?!?).  

I started 2020 newly single and subsequently about to leave the country, funemployed, and living under someone else's stairs Harry Potter style, minus the magic wand.  That's completely untrue - single Sheri DEFINITELY had a magic wand whose powers dimmed the lights for the entire subdivision while in use.  

Leaving the country for nearly two months certainly aided in the process of getting over a boy.  I embraced the balm of space and time and let equatorial sunsets, ocean waves, new travel buds, and the best damn cousin in the whole world distract me from mourning my old life and moving towards one whose shape I could not yet see.  That act, that conscious decision, to let the people that loved me to care for me cemented some feelings of place and security in the town I now think of as home.  

I've been reflecting on home and place and belonging in a landscape for a while now.  No breakthroughs or deep realizations, but a strong confirmation that community matters A LOT to me.  Community as a synonym for town, sure, but more intimately as a collection of people that care for and take care of each other.  

Turns out I'm a social introvert that NEEDS human interaction and touch.  Having physical contact in the forms of hugs from friends and regular massage taken away for months was gruelling and when I felt the loneliest and lowest this year.  Touch, and not even in a sexual sense, is near impossible to replicate and something I find so soothing and comforting.  

Community takes many forms for many people - book clubs, sports teams, coworkers, housemates, family, many besties.  My community, my network, my support is multiple sports teams and clubs, a gaggle of diverse girlfriends, a cousin bestie on speed dial, and coworkers I deeply trust and respect.  It took time and effort to build this for myself in Dawson Creek, but the love, support, and returns I've received have been deeply nourishing in what should have been an isolating and lonely year. 

I strongly credit the role physical activity and conscious exercise played towards positive mental health this past year.  Frequent power walks around town for groceries, dog walks, errands, or just simply to leave the house and get out of my head.  Leisurely bike rides around Dawson Creek's gravel and paved side roads.  Hiking the trails around Tumbler Ridge  At-home weights and HIIT videos that I did "together" with my friend across town.  Swimming.  New sports of curling and cross country skiing.  As an athlete, I know how to care for my physical body, so that's what I comfortingly returned to and simply hoped my emotional and mental health would follow.  It mostly worked.  Most of the time.  

So while 2020 was not what or where I thought it would be, I am still pretty damn proud of a handful of accomplishments: 

• Bought my first place
  
  
• Solo two-night backpacking trip in Jasper
  
  
• Received RPF designation
  
  
• Recerted NL

  

My star of 2020 - Millie. How single people without pets in this pandemic year made it remains a great mystery to me.  She ensured I never slept in, let me hold her as I wept for times past and uncertainty ahead, and is stellar company. 

So, even as I am finishing this year much as I did last - no husband, no job and no f-ing kids - it's in a much better state and headspace. 

I hope 2021 sees you enveloped in community and love - whatever, and whomever, and where ever that means to you!